Gratitude vs. Entitlement

Yesterday a friend of mine told me about an appointment she had with her doctor last week. As she entered the office the doctor said, “have you come for an anti-depressant too?” My friend was perplexed and quietly said, “well…no…” at which point the doctor told her that in just that week she had over 100 patients come in [for a prescription]. The state of the world is getting to all of us I think! Isaiah’s words about God wiping away the tears from every cheek, removing the mourning veil from all peoples and the shroud covering all nations touches something inside each of us, I’d guess, that desperately looks for relief. On one hand, we believe in this God—the God of Israel, the God of our ancestors the God of Jesus and the apostles. We want to trust those ancient promises and some, if not most of us, long for the world Isaiah describes. But I think many have given up hope humans can actually get there—or that it makes sense to even have that as a goal anymore.

The political philosopher John Gray, a critic of utopian thinking, said “destructive behavior…flows from inherent human flaws. “These defects are not only or even mainly intellectual,” he wrote, then continued: “No advance in human knowledge can stop humans attacking and persecuting others.” And on the level of knowledge alone, I’m sure he’s right. FACTS don’t change people’s minds as we are clearly seeing today. People make decisions based mostly on feelings and attitudes.

The newest prayer book for Yom Kippur in the Reform movement of Judaism acknowledges, “that humans are prone to behavior that is both self-destructive and harmful to others. But it insists that we also possess a moral instinct that controls and channels our harmful drives.” This instinct “inspires us to work for a better world.” This is the challenge before us and it has both an inner and an outer dimension. The outer is somehow easier to see as we watch the world around us crumbling, one or more sectors at a time. There is so much to be done that many are paralyzed, others are energized and some are becoming more terrified and unbalanced. But here we are, together on spaceship earth, looking for ways to handle conflict non-violently, rethink our institutions, find and promote ethical leaders, confront the ‘isms and create the means to advance full equality, insure that everyone is fed and housed and that their health is cared for, and join our voices in promoting the common good over private and corporate interests. It is a long list! But it is vital that we not be discouraged, which takes us back to the inner dimension of the challenge. Both Jesus and Paul help us here.

Through Jesus’ parable we are reminded that we have all been invited to this lush banquet of LIFE. We have not simply found ourselves at the table. Like the guest without a wedding garment, perhaps many of us have lost sight of the fact that God ‘chose’ us to be here at this precise moment in time. What is required is a readiness to receive each other, participate fully and give what is ours to give to others around the table. A wedding symbolizes the merging of lives, and it also symbolizes the building of family, the building of community connections. It represents the give-and-take of human relationships on smaller and larger levels. The wedding guest doesn’t appreciate all this, the honor of being invited into the family celebration, and simply crashes the party. The lack of a wedding garment shows he isn’t prepared to give, only to take what the ruler and everyone else has to give. There is no respect or gratitude. There is no participatory attitude. The ruler recognizes this guest has important lessons to learn before being ready to feast at the table. Outside the banquet hall is where these lessons are learned. In the place where we hit bottom, where the darkness of anger, suspicion, entitlement and resentment finally give way, we begin to see clearly. There, eventually, the ‘chosen-ness’ of being invited into a love feast can finally be heard. The gift can be received. The guest will now be able to ‘give’.

For his part, Paul reflects on that inner road of transformation that leads from the darkness of entitlement into the light of humility, grace and gratitude. “I know what it is to be brought low,” he says, “and I know what it is to have plenty.” He sees his life as one the Divine Presence within him has ‘chosen’ for him to walk. It has been filled with hardships and he has suffered beatings, humiliation, imprisonment, and the hatred of others to the point that he now faces the likelihood of execution. But what we hear in his letter to the Philippians is gratitude. He doesn’t see himself deserving of their help. Instead he is humble in the face of their kindness toward him, and is moved by their love for him. He is receptive and grateful. In a verse left out of today’s passage he tells them: “When I first left Macedonia, in the early days of carrying the gospel, not one church helped out in the give-and-take of this work except you…I want you to experience the blessing of your generosity.”

It’s that essential give-and-take, the ups and downs of our lives and the life of the world, that both Jesus and Paul ask us to hold with hearts of joy and gratitude. For it is an honor to sit at this table. Though the whole world, perhaps, has been called here to this time and place, those chosen are able to recognize the gift and the privilege inherent in the invitation. They come dressed for the occasion, grateful for the transformative opportunities, and ready to enjoy the meal and take part in the dance.

And those that know themselves “chosen” for these times can say with Paul: “I have the strength for everything through the One who gives me strength.”

 

 

 

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